When Reading Things I Write, You Can't See Who I Am
Created by Chad Langgle
When reading things I write, you can't see who I am. Or so I think. I've spent years of my life in my own mind running from my demons. I've used drugs to numb the pain that I was born into. I've spent over a decade in segregation. I've covered myself in ink from head to toe. Every inch a story of evil that haunts my mind. Chasing me.
I have spent many moments of incarceration shedding the blood of others to cause pain that I feel. It's destroyed me just as much as never knowing the love of a family or a friend, the embrace of a loved one. Adopted then forgotten, I live every day watching, reminded that everyone else around me is loved by someone. No mail, no one to call. No one who cares. Lashing out again and again, hoping just one person will see me. In vain.
Now I've been free, I've seen the same thing on the other side. When does it change? When can it now that I've put horns and a crown of barbed wire on my brow? Sinner in ink, across my jaw so that the world sees what they want as they look upon me.
I just want one person to be able to look past these scars, tattoos, and brands to see that inside. I'm kind a healer, someone who once saved others and wanted to be a healer until I was continuously betrayed by this world. Just one loving soul could have saved so many from pain that I've caused and endured. I just don't know if that's real anymore.
As I embrace sobriety, I'm so scared the things I've done I can't escape now. Where do I go from here?
Chad’s writing carries the rawness of lived experience and the sincerity of someone trying to become more than his past. He writes about mental health, fear, faith, identity, and the longing to be seen beneath the inked-over armor of who he once had to be. His words reflect the way he is trying to rebuild himself piece by piece—no longer through violence or reputation, but through honesty, reflection, and the search for connection.
He believes the greatest offering he has is his story. He writes in the hope that his life can be understood, that someone might see beyond what the world has marked on him, and that his journey might help someone else who feels alone in their struggle. His work stands as a testament to a man trying to change from the inside out—one sentence at a time.