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State of Depression (A Furious Battle)

Created by George Presley

Here again I find myself alone,
fighting what seems to be a never-ending battle.
Such adept fighters are my opponents.

I attempt to fight my worthy (unworthy) enemies
by taking on what seems to me
to be the least to the most damaging;
in succession and hoping that I am strong enough in the end
to stand victorious.

And so the fight begins...

Ah, Depression and Gloom, (twins they are),
facing them I realize
that this first battle holds just as much importance as my last.
Maybe even more, for a loss NOW, so soon,
and they become heroes,
and never again may the strength be mine to fight with.

I become frightened...

So now Fear has joined the battle,
but I disperse with him quickly,
for many times I have fought him and won—
and so shall I now.

Depression and Gloom, they attack!
I go down!
This first blow is so devastating.
Can I win? I must... I must win!

What are their weaknesses?
Then I remembered: Yes, a time when laughter filled my life.
More and more these memories flash before me.
I smiled!

At the sight of my smile my enemies went blind,
but still they came at me.
I laughed out loud!
They became deaf, but still they came at me.
I felt joy!
They perished.

I feel elated; strengthened...
I face off...

Loneliness strikes!
He is invisible. No matter though, this should be an easy fight.
Quickly I run into the midst of the largest group of people I see.
I’m safe.

No, I’m not... for he has found me.
Why don’t these people help?
They offer no protection.

I push through them (I must get away)
to find myself staring at my reflection
in a storefront display window,
and I see him... Loneliness, and he is me.

I can’t run, nor can I stand to look into the piercing eyes either.
For they drill into my very soul.

Closing my eyes, I search for help... and it comes.
I see my family, my friends.
I hear their voices; whispers of love and acceptance.
I feel warm all over.

I open my eyes and my reflection grins at me...
Loneliness no longer there.

Heartache quickly throws in the towel!
I am smiling and full of joy.

Victory is sweet but short-lived,
for towering over me is Pain;
a razor-sharp dagger in each hand.

There is no time for courtesies,
for he is infuriated.
I have destroyed his kin and he wants revenge.

With lightning speed, he thrusts.
His every blow sinking deep within me—
but there is no blood; nor is there an escape.
The wounds are insufferable.

He is so elusive, yet he totally engulfs my whole being...
I can’t fight!

How can I win?
How?

Not knowing what else to do,
I open my heart to him and he takes the bait.

Going for the kill he lunges,
thrusting not one, but both daggers deep within the core of my heart,
and I have him;
for neither will his daggers come free
nor can he lose his grip on their hilts.

Now I have a chance.
I CAN fight, but how?
I must be careful so as not to release him to attack again.

Somehow I KNOW that he cannot be destroyed.
What then?
I must control him.

Carefully I touch him and he is REAL.
I look within him,
trying to understand his existence—
and he weakens.

Finally, I embrace him, totally;
and he dissipates...

...well not completely,
but within my heart I can carry his weight;
at least until he can teach me no more!

NOW, I must fight the bravest, most gallant fight of my life,
for there is yet one more battle to be fought...
...and there, not far off he stands...
TOMORROW!!!

Copyright © 1997 Lee Presley

About the Artist
George Presley

George L. Presley, known to friends as “Bo,” is a 62-year-young artist whose spirit feels closer to twenty-seven. Living inside the prison system, he carries a rare optimism and an openhearted presence that infuses everything he creates. A lifelong reader, writer, and drawer, Bo approaches art the same way he approaches life: with curiosity, resilience, and a sense of humor that has carried him through every chapter.
Bo stays active in body and mind. When he is not sketching or writing, he is on the court or the field, playing pickleball, softball, handball, or soccer. Music is a constant companion. So is his faith. He speaks often of the Lord’s hand in his life and of his ongoing search for a deeper path, learning the difficult art of letting go.
Although he has been creating for years, this is the first time Bo has had a platform to share his work publicly. With the support of his friend and sponsor through Unconditional Freedom Project, he is stepping forward to offer his drawings and writings to anyone who might find warmth, connection, or inspiration in them. He hopes his work will touch hearts the way making it has touched his own.

View all Artwork by George Presley