GUIDING LIGHT
Created by Adrian Torres
So, I plug my ears with homemade earplugs and hope to be able to rest and fall asleep. I do. I fall quickly to sleep—maybe the rhythmic sounds of the storm’s chaos rocked me into it. But maybe too quickly. I had forgotten to empty my bladder, and right about 2:30 in the early morning, my body said, “You better get up!”
So I jumped right out of my dream (a good one, I might add... about eating a nice rack of BBQ ribs and opened my eyes.
But something was wrong.
The room was dark. I was a little confused at first. I kind of thought I was still dreaming. I quickly, however, realized the storm had once again taken out our power. Every single light source had been snuffed out. The building was dark. The dorm was dark. Even the towering lights that govern from above the recreational yard were dark. No matter how much I blinked, my eyes could not see two—maybe three—feet in front of me.
I’m not sure what made me look, but far beyond the iron, concrete, and razor wire of this State Facility, was a small twinkle of light, coming from a single star. It gently caressed its soft light onto my bed. Almost like a sign, it gave just enough light for me to find my battery-operated reading light.
Once the light was in my hand, I was able to easily see and maneuver any obstacle leading to and from the toilet area. Once the light was with me, it became part of me. I no longer cared how dark it was. I now knew my light could easily pierce through the darkness that had been imposed upon me.
Later that day, I reflected on my personal growth journey. I realized that the person I am today—with a bright light that has no problem sharing its glow with others—is the direct result of light sources that came from outside these walls.
I once lived in the darkness of violence and trauma-filled behavior. It took a soft, gentle, loving person—someone who braved the darkness of prison—to enter and shine their soft light upon me. With just enough light guiding me, I eventually found my own light within. And once I had light, I was able to find my way through the obstacles my childhood trauma had placed in my path.
Although I continue to find ways to grow my light, the people who originally showed me the way still shine their light in my direction. And on top of that, more lights continue to enter my life, each showing me a new color of light, expanding my world.
I write this to thank you.
Yes, you.
Thank you for daring to enter the lives of those inside and offering your light—a gentle guiding light. Your work often goes unsung. There are no stories or major networks reporting on what you do. But if the world only knew… your work—your heart—makes communities safer and healthier.
You deserve parades.
Thank you for being that guiding light.
You make a big difference
AI by Nancy, Unconditional Freedom Team Member
Free the Artist bio: My name is Adrian, I've been serving 25-to-Life in the California Department of Corrections. I was arrested in December 1999, and have not seen freedom since. And rightly so. Unfortunately, I callously and heinously killed Vyncent, an innocent human being. By law, I'm considered a "youth offender", but since I've been in the system for 25+ years, and I will be 50 in October 2025, I'm also considered "elderly." I'm Mexican but was born in the United States, and speak both English and Spanish. It took me a long time to find "me" between both cultures. Which was a big source of much of my childhood trauma. Currently I spend hours and hours in a week learning more about me, but also utilize what I learn to guide others through their trauma too. I love writing. Although I was literally illiterate all my life, I managed to find joy in creative writing. Being able to express my personality on paper has allowed me to purge many unvoiced hurts that once lingered deep within my body. I love love love love love to laugh and especially make others laugh. If I could live in a world of joy, laughter, and good humor I would be content. This year, 2025, I'm scheduled to go (for the third time) up in front of the California Board to see if I am found no longer a risk to society. Although I deeply know I no longer live a life of any type of violence, I have deep doubt I will ever be let go. So please, hold me in your thoughts and prayers. Its not easy. Thank you for reading my submissions. I hope to send more in soon.